Some say wisdom and knowledge are two very different yet intertwined things, and I agree. I just call them phronesis and sophia respectively, and I do not believe discernment can be separated from phronesis. In fact, phronesis is discernment, to a certain degree. One cannot have achieved a certain level of phronesis without having learnt to discern along the way.

I am not a mother but should I one day be privileged to call a child my own, I will not so much teach him the art of discernment as live it for him to see and hopefully emulate. I believe there is no substitute for the experience one gains from stepping and misstepping along his life's path. No parent or book, no matter how good or wise, could teach a child how to use his gut feel or read a person by observing his behaviour. It is something a child will have to experience on his own and parents can but ground him in a solid foundation and guide him along the way, letting him go when the time is appropriate but always only a call away to render sufficient support.

What I learnt from my father was not so much a set of rules as tacit guidelines, drawn from his infrequent nuggets of wisdom and day-to-day conduct. To this day one of his many admonishments in Cantonese, 'Sai gai yaam heem' - 'This world is a dangerous place' , sticks in my subconscious and cautions me along my own path.

That, I believe, is how a child learns discernment - and the proof will be in the pudding.