On of those email sendings that amuse
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Comments (6)
I was attempting to watch the key speech last night, trying to find words of more than 2 syllables in the speech, and stopped at “America” (often pronounced by the folks holding their convention now without the first A) and “everything” (in reference to in what ways they are better than the other folks). I must admit that this count of two exceeded the number of non-white persons appearing in the crowd shots. Yes, Dave, it is time again for that quadrennial international embarrassment called “The American Presidential Election”. It brings to mind the very bad movie “Idiocracy”.
Again we will see shadowy groups (actually shadowy individuals of great wealth) fund overwhelming commercial campaigns that will suggest things as obviously untrue as one candidate having 2 heads. Yet many will believe the commercials. Our national press will treat us to such probing questions as “Senator X, do you think you would make a good president?” Afterwards, educated people will again hang their heads in shame as we elect another president who sees the world as Christian and heathen, good and evil, white and all those other funny looking folks with strange habits and languages and who has successfully blamed all of our problems on lack of prayer in school and has again proven to the electorate that we should never trust anyone with more education than your basic truck driver. In January the emigration of educated Americans to Canada will again get press coverage. Oh well.
Posted by Wayne Zandbergen | September 4, 2008 12:58 PM
Posted on September 4, 2008 12:58
It's the nature of roads to be crossed by chickens, neh?
Posted by Steve | September 4, 2008 5:49 PM
Posted on September 4, 2008 17:49
Kia ora Dave!
Well you've definitely got something to crow about here! Nothing 'cheep'. I'll nominate you for the Pulletzer Prize. You know your eggs about chickens and politics and you've put it all in one basket!
Ka kite
from Middle-earth
Posted by Ken Allan | September 4, 2008 8:48 PM
Posted on September 4, 2008 20:48
Sarah Palin: I didn't want the chikcen to cross the bridge to nowhere, so I told ocngress we didn't want the bridge, but we kept the money to help pay for french fries to eat with the chicken. Note on political correctness: If you are a vegetarian, the last sentence means you and the chicken will share the fries. If you are a carnivore, it means that you will enjoy the chicken and French Fries with the Moose Tartar that Alaskan governors typically have for breakfast -- after they track down the moose, strangle it and gut it with thier bare hands, and then chop a cord of wood before breakfast.
Posted by Mark White | September 6, 2008 5:06 PM
Posted on September 6, 2008 17:06
SARAH PALIN: I can see the chicken across the street from my house. Its in Russia!
Posted by Sarah | September 19, 2008 3:57 AM
Posted on September 19, 2008 03:57
SARAH PALIN: I'll get back to you on that.
Posted by Lilac | October 2, 2008 2:33 AM
Posted on October 2, 2008 02:33